Oh Gawd. The laundry is done.

The laundry is done and all of the dishes too. I've dusted the living room and cleaned the extra bedroom. More I could do I'm sure. The carpets need shampooed and the bathroom cleaned. My house is by no means spotless. There are still cobwebs in the corners and a backroom to clean. All things I've wanted to do if "I just had time", but now that I have time.... Too much time maybe. Too much time to think and wonder what I did wrong. It's funny how the loss of a job can make you question your entire being. I was comfy in my job knowing that what I was doing... I was good at. I never knew if I was a good wife or a good mother or even a grandmother, but over time I began to feel that I was good at my job. Something that I never felt as a wife, mother or grandmother. If there was something I wasn't doing right at my job, I could fix. You can't easily fix something that maybe you've done wrong for years. Something you thought you had always done right... but now.... maybe not.

My granddaughter (9 years old) lost her pet bunny yesterday. She lost it because one of the dogs in her family decided to use it as a chew toy. The bunny was safely tucked away in a cage, but one of the dogs decided to "set it free". It was a very sad day as it was the bunny's last. Tears flowed and anger was abundant as grandpa and I showed up to bury the bunny and comfort the loss. The dog was bad and scolded but really he was doing as dogs do. You really can't blame him for something that was innate in him. As grandparents that can't seem to say no to our blond haired, blue eyed crying granddaughter I went to the pet store seeking not a new bunny, but now a turtle. It would have been way to easy (and cheaper) just to buy a bunny, but no, my granddaughter could smell and see my weakness. It was time to strike. She'd always wanted a turtle so now that she was free of the bunny and grandma's heart was breaking... Bada Bing!

We walked into the pet store (me still clinging to the hope that there was a cute bunny around) then our eyes fell upon the turtle cage. Cute little fellas I must admit. What the hey? They live to be 50 years old. Long after I'm gone right? I'm thinking we'll just shove that little turtle in the bunny cage and all is well. Oh no... Lots more to a turtle than a freak'n bunny! They need heat lamps and pads and lights and..... Holy cow! I choked at the counter. The clerk asked me if I was ok. Yeah, I'm fine. Hopefully I'll find a job to pay for the heated pool and sun lamps the turtle requires. I only wish that I could fit into the 9X13 paradise this turtle now inhabits.