Is it bedtime yet?

Well sure it is! I've combed the employment ads and sent my resumes out. Cleaned the house, done the laundry and babysat the grandchildren. Looked at the dirty kitchen floor and turned my head. It's been mopped too many times this week to care if it's dirty again. Looked at the computer that needs the hard drive removed and transferred to another computer, but hey, it's not going anywhere... kinda like me. I look to my left and there's a box filled with computer stuff. Boy it's been there a long time. I should probably do something with it. Nah... It's gonna be bedtime soon.

When Wal-Mart calls

It's a sign of the times... My daughter has been unemployed since just before Christmas. Long story short... She put in her two weeks notice at her job because of a better opportunity at another job. Due to the "economic downturn" her offer was rescinded. Her old job had already replaced her so she was left jobless. Four months later she is still in search of a job. Unemployment denied her because she "willingly" left her job. No, not willingly... she tried to stay at her place of employment but was told she had been replaced.

So..... a single mother of 3 has no job and no unemployment. She's applied at many places she was qualified for, but the job market is fierce right now (trust me I know). So she began applying at places she really doesn't want to work, but she's got to feed her family and hang on to some kind of dignity. She called me crying from the state aid office saying "Mom, I'm no supposed to be here". My heart wrenched. All I could do was cry with her and tell her that things would get better. Maybe it's a sign of better things to come for you? When one door closes another always opens? Well... Wal-Mart called her for an interview today. Not quite the automatic door she had in mind. When you leave one job to better yourself, you expect for things to get better. Not that Wal-Mart is a bad place to work... It may be great, but it's a sign of the times when you say "Oh gawd, Wal-Mart called today".

It was a full moon... or was it full mooning?

Ya know.... Every day that you live brings a little something into your life. Not just another day of living, but the knowledge that if you weren't here, you would have missed it.

I got a text message from my 7 year old granddaughter (yes she has a cell phone) today saying that her sister (9) was going to kill her. Immediately my thoughts went to "What did you do?", but instead I asked her "Why do you say that?". Her reply was "because she said she was going to". Oh ok.. that clears it all up. Snickering I texted back... "Why is she going to kill you?" Again I get... because she said she was going to. I'm pretty sure she touched something or said something that prompted the threat, but I never got the 411. Before you start to panic, these are just normal sisters threatening each others lives. No gang activity here. I'm an only child so I never had the "pleasure" of feeling the wrath of a sibling, but I must say after having 3 children of my own and 3 grandchildren, I'm sure I have missed something major in my life.

I'm even more sure after learning of my 28 year old daughter's adventures tonight. I must admit I have always longed for a sibling. Preferably and older brother but unless my parent's learned the secrets of time travel, it wasn't an option for me. On to the adventure. I have twin daughters. Identical in looks, but quite the opposites when it comes to personalities, but tonight I think they actually bonded in a way that only sisters can. I've done some crazy things in my life (and had a blast doing them) but my daughters have never really seemed to step out onto the "wild side" together until tonight. I'm not sure what would possess someone to do this (other than maybe their cousin) but my daughters decided it would be appropriate to moon the patrons of well known shopping establishment's parking lot.

Ahh yes. Pride sets in as I picture one driving the "get away car" and the other's ass hanging out the window along with their "not so timid" cousin's. I then begin to picture the little old ladies with their social security checks in hand making their way across the parking lot. Little old men holding their arms to steady their steps... For a brief moment they are frozen in time as two bare asses whiz by. Perhaps there were a few young men that appreciated the sight and could only hope that such a sight would be repeated over and over again.

There is a part of me that says "Woo hoo!" those are my girls living life to the fullest... having fun. (Wishing they had invited me!) Then there's the other part that prays no one took down their license plate number.

The point to this post in my blog is that no matter how down I may feel, I live for moments like this. Am I proud of my daughters? You betcha!

Oh Gawd. The laundry is done.

The laundry is done and all of the dishes too. I've dusted the living room and cleaned the extra bedroom. More I could do I'm sure. The carpets need shampooed and the bathroom cleaned. My house is by no means spotless. There are still cobwebs in the corners and a backroom to clean. All things I've wanted to do if "I just had time", but now that I have time.... Too much time maybe. Too much time to think and wonder what I did wrong. It's funny how the loss of a job can make you question your entire being. I was comfy in my job knowing that what I was doing... I was good at. I never knew if I was a good wife or a good mother or even a grandmother, but over time I began to feel that I was good at my job. Something that I never felt as a wife, mother or grandmother. If there was something I wasn't doing right at my job, I could fix. You can't easily fix something that maybe you've done wrong for years. Something you thought you had always done right... but now.... maybe not.

My granddaughter (9 years old) lost her pet bunny yesterday. She lost it because one of the dogs in her family decided to use it as a chew toy. The bunny was safely tucked away in a cage, but one of the dogs decided to "set it free". It was a very sad day as it was the bunny's last. Tears flowed and anger was abundant as grandpa and I showed up to bury the bunny and comfort the loss. The dog was bad and scolded but really he was doing as dogs do. You really can't blame him for something that was innate in him. As grandparents that can't seem to say no to our blond haired, blue eyed crying granddaughter I went to the pet store seeking not a new bunny, but now a turtle. It would have been way to easy (and cheaper) just to buy a bunny, but no, my granddaughter could smell and see my weakness. It was time to strike. She'd always wanted a turtle so now that she was free of the bunny and grandma's heart was breaking... Bada Bing!

We walked into the pet store (me still clinging to the hope that there was a cute bunny around) then our eyes fell upon the turtle cage. Cute little fellas I must admit. What the hey? They live to be 50 years old. Long after I'm gone right? I'm thinking we'll just shove that little turtle in the bunny cage and all is well. Oh no... Lots more to a turtle than a freak'n bunny! They need heat lamps and pads and lights and..... Holy cow! I choked at the counter. The clerk asked me if I was ok. Yeah, I'm fine. Hopefully I'll find a job to pay for the heated pool and sun lamps the turtle requires. I only wish that I could fit into the 9X13 paradise this turtle now inhabits.

To know me

My first real blog... Makes me think of a diary except everyone in the world will have a chance to look into my soul. I guess time will tell of how much I let you look. After all, it's me who ultimately lets you in.

There are many things that have led me to blog, but the final touch was being laid off and a fellow comrade who found himself in the same situation I have. So Bob, here we go.

My life has been pretty simple... I'd say average even. I got married at 16 (which I know is not so average). Believe it or not... I wasn't pregnant. Just a defiant teen who was in love. My parents, through their misguided love, thought that if they kept me away from my "love" I would give up and move on. Yeah, I hear you all chuckling. At least the teens that are reading this and the ones that have been there and done that. :) So that's a start to my life.

We married... He was 19 and me 16. No jobs between us. He had just been laid off from his job, but I knew love would carry us through. I got a job at Hardee's which paid the rent and I got to bring food home that was left over at the days end. It fed us along with food my grandfather gave us when he closed his country store in Alabama. Now if anyone is familiar with country stores, you know it's just a little roadside stop that sold a few cans of corn, moon pies, chips and soda. Remembering back... I'm sure it's what kept us from going hungry.

Let's fast forward to when the loves of my life came along.. My daughters and son. We planned the pregnancy because by this time hubby had what we thought was a great job at the "Big Yellow". A job there meant you were set for life. My dad raised me working there and took very good care of my mother so hubby and I knew it was time to start our own family. As fate would have it, hubby was laid off shortly after our twin girls were born. Blah blah blah... we did what we had to to make ends meet. He worked fast food and I worked as a desk clerk. We made it through. He got a job managing a video store and then our son was born. We were pretty proud.... The only twins born in the family for three generations and the only boy in 25 years.

Hubby and I both worked our butts off to provide for our children. We met with many obstacles along the way, but we persevered. You may learn about that point in my life later on, but for now it's going to be tucked away because I'm anxious to get to where I am now.

I'm "NoJobTara". For some reason that seems to define who I am to ME. Yes, I know I am a mom and also a grandma (tell you about that later).

I worked at different jobs throughout my life, but I finally found one that seemed to fit me. I worked at that job for almost 10 years. I thought I would retire there. No retirement benefits, but a good 401K. Through circumstances out of my control, I'm now unemployed. Laid off... The "economic downturn" has affected me and my family. I gave my everything to that "job". Worked many hours and was gone from home a lot. I was trying to make my place in that company as well as bring satisfaction to myself.

I spent the first week of unemployment trying to understand why it happened to me. I slept a lot. Depressed I'm sure. Then I went into speed mode cleaning and rearranging things I had been wanting to do. My son said "I can tell you're bored". Now three weeks into it and applying for many jobs, fear is beginning to set in.